7 Ways to guarantee a humdinger of a fight with your boyfriend or spouse (But really these principles will work in any fight):
1. Emotionally block communication.
Make sure that you scream. Yelling is considered talking.
Make sure that you stream. Crying is considered good form.
Make sure that you steam. Pouting is not just for 2 year olds.
Make sure that you scheme. Manipulation works.
2. Drag the fight out as long as possible. Don’t do your part to clear the air and never admit it when you’re wrong.
3. Over-react during the fight. Lob a bomb when a sling shot would do. Name calling really works well, as well as caustic comments like “You sound just like your mother right now.”
4. Think the worst case scenario. Don’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t use your heart when dealing with him. He doesn’t deserve any tenderness.
5. Use the intimate knowledge you have of his psychological soft spots and really stick it to him.
6. Make sure you throw out “I’ll never forgive you for this!”
7. Sarcasm works when you are cornered. And remember to include material from your LAST fight if you find yourself losing ground.
Do these 7 things and you are guaranteed to have the fight of your life – that goes on and on!
I wish I could say I have never done any of them.. but I have learned my lesson.
Fight fair, Lovelies!