Let’s just admit it; middle school is awful. I know everyone thinks it, but I’ll be the first to say that it’s full of mean children that are making up for their inadequacies, and so what do they do? They bully – and I was a victim.
“You’re a late bloomer, Rebecca, that’s why you don’t have breasts yet,” is what my mother always told me, but my mother telling me that I was a “late bloomer” didn’t make up for the mean girls AND BOYS in school who always pointed out how flat my chest was. I was so insecure. I don’t know how every other girl had breasts so young, but in the meantime, my chest was as flat as a wall and I hated it.
Breasts were always plastered all over magazines, the middle school boys would always talk about breasts… and I didn’t have them.
I tried making it appear that I had breasts by wearing the most padded bra I could find (which made it feel like hugging a little girl with baby cantaloupes in her shirt whenever someone did press up against me) or even on other occasions by stuffing with toilet paper. (I don’t know what made me think that would look like boobs, I mean, seriously – toilet paper?)
Anyways, I was flat chested and the worst part about it was that everyone pointed it out. Boys would say things to me like, “Do you wear band-aids to cover your ant bites?” I would respond saying no, and then they would finish with, “Well, then why do you wear a bra?” Or they would ask if I was a part of the “itty bitty tity committee.” I was constantly feeling humiliated. I specifically remember this one instance where my “friend” saw me changing in the reflection of a mirror. That was the moment she found out how extremely flat I was… and to make it worse, she held back my arms and forced me to show my other friend exactly how non-existent my breasts were.
I was so insecure because of the bullying. It’s ridiculous because I was being bullied for something that I had NO CONTROL OVER! So for the rest of middle school and beginning of high school, I just did whatever I could to hide my flat chest. Padded bras, stuffing, avoiding any changing rooms with friends – but somehow those things weren’t enough. I was still bullied, boys didn’t like me and they always chose to date my friends over me who had breasts. That feeling of insecurity continue to grow and grow.
That is, until I made new, lovely friends. I decided that if I wasn’t going to be accepted for who I was by those people and if they were going to make fun and bully me, then I would move on and find true friends. And I did just that.
At the end of middle school, I came to my breaking point and I couldn’t handle the drama and bullying any longer. I decided I would make friends that truly loved and accepted me. I started spending time with lovely, safe friends, and from that point forward I have been completely different. I was surrounded by people who had positive attitudes and were kind and loving towards me!
Now I am confident and secure in my looks. I am married to a man that loves my chest! I know that I am accepted no matter how I look, because let’s face it – we are never going to look perfect, and my friends accept and love me even on my worst looking days! Life is so great having a husband that completely adores me and good friends that make you feel cherished. I am so thankful for the supportive group that I have been blessed with!
Now, I am lovely.
Cheers to getting over the mean the kids in school!