Everyone likes to think they are a good kisser. But what makes a kiss good or bad? Here are some basic categories.
The “Mary Poppins” Kiss – When I had my first kiss, this was it. I was so nervous and lightheaded that I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was to pucker up – and boy did I. My lips were pressed together tighter than our border patrol. Not exactly the supple pallet you want to work with. Luckily, with the first kiss officially out of the way, I was able to relax and not kiss like a straight-laced nanny for the second one.
The “Fried Green Tomatoes” Kiss- This is the worst possible scenario. When you know exactly what the other person ate for their last meal (or several meals), its time to shut it down. Seriously. No one enjoys that. It’s time to take a moment, get your toothbrush and floss, and get busy with yourself (and a sink). You don’t want the person you’re kissing to be thinking, “It’s been a while since I had a good chimichanga.”
The “Beasts of the Southern Wild” Kiss – Kissing a man with a beard is like kissing a mystery. The formation of that beard could be from many things: Maybe he lives on the wild frontier and hunts for food with his bare hands, maybe he has so much testosterone that the beard grows back instantly after shaving, maybe he is descended from bears? The possibilities are endless. Don’t over-think it. Kiss mystery. Kiss something wild. Kiss a man with a beard.
The “Gone in 60 seconds” Kiss – This is a good one. This happens when you know you won’t see each other for a long period of time. It’s revved up on pure emotion. What makes this kiss so great is knowing that it eventually leads to “The Return of the King” kiss. Always a crowd pleaser.
The “Free Willy” Kiss – Yes. I said it. There is such a thing as too much tongue. Keep that lingual muscle under control. If you are gagging the person you’re kissing, Willy’s too free. One can only handle so much. Plus, too much tongue makes it harder to control saliva. Yep. I’m going there too…
The “Oceans 11″ Kiss- If the entire lower half of your face is wet after kissing, you may have just kissed a dog. Double check. Saliva is the unfortunate bi-product of kissing, not the main attraction. Try to keep it to a minimum.
The “Love Potion No. 9″ Kiss – Good óle fashioned love. Nothing beats it. No kiss is better than one between two people who are deeply in love. Relationships are hard work – but they are so worth it. Kissing someone you are truly in love with can’t be compared.
Here’s to being a great kisser!
What are some other types of kisses that you could add to this list?