In a world full of relationships, confrontation is inevitable.
photo credit : by daedrius
Certain personalities may love a good rabble-rousing conversation between friends, a spouse, or your children, but what about the rest of us? How can we convince ourselves to approach that dreaded encounter and to do it in a way that is healthy and helpful?
Here are the 3 C’s of healthy confrontation:
Before you confront, ask yourself: “what is the problem and should I address it?” The supposedly easy but substantially difficult question, “What am I actually upset with?” If you don’t address the right problem, you won’t get the right solution. (It’s like a husband telling his wife she doesn’t need a new pair of shoes when the real issue to confront is their mounting credit card debt. Steve Madden isn’t the problem, the over-spending is.) After defining the problem, decide if it’s yours to address. It is possible that some of the things that bug us aren’t any of our business.
Whittle the issue down to one sentence before you confront. Lengthy problem descriptions never get more understandable once you’ve left the starting gate. As much as your husband’s mother and all his ex-girlfriends are all probably related to the issue at hand, don’t break the rules of the English language with a run-on sentence. Distill your thoughts into one succinct statement.
The first words set the tone for the discussion. If I start the conversation with strong emotions, it’s gonna get ugly quick! The atmosphere of the confrontation is set within the first few seconds of speaking so make sure your tone is calm and unassuming.
The 3 C’s of confrontation will help even the most hesitant communicator find success. As unpleasant as it may be, healthy relationships are worth it. So the next time an issue arises, don’t panic. Practice the 3 C’s of confrontation and at the end of it both parties should appreciate the frank conversation. Cheers to healthy and happy relationships!
Do you have anything you do to prepare yourself before you have a potential confrontation?