Relationships on any level (friendship, familial, dating, marriage) can be difficult.
For you, that may be the understatement of the century. A bigger understatement than saying that Rihanna and Chris Brown have issues.
There have been times where a friend of mine came up to me, crying, asking for my forgiveness, because she’s been mad at me for not showing her love. “What is she talking about?” I would think to myself, as I accepted her apology and lovingly validated our friendship. Things like that would happen often. Or, I’d be on the other side, feeling assaulted with thoughts that a close friend of mine really, truly didn’t love me, even though she swore she did.
Then, my mentor told me about the 5 Love Languages Test. After my friends and I took this test, heavenly choirs sang on high, and light bulbs levitated over our heads, giving off a blinding glow, with which we used to read our test results.
I knew, immediately, this is what our friendships were missing.
We weren’t giving the other person what they wanted/needed. And, we had no clue how to communicate what we wanted/needed to them! So we were stuck in this sick cycle of constantly offending one another, apologizing for it, crying/hugging it out, and then it would start over again.
If you’ve been drowning in the tears shed over relationship drama by you/your friend/your spouse/your siblings, then I have a lifesaver to offer you. (And them!)
The 5 Love Languages test was developed by a guy named Dr. Gary Chapman. He’s been married for over 45 years, and has been pastoring/mentoring for over 35 years. This guy knows from experience what relationships need to not only survive, but to thrive.
He has determined that there are 5 different ‘Love Languages.’ Each person has a certain way that they best receive (and give!) love. The 5 different languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
The best part of this is – the Love Languages quiz is online, and it is free! You don’t have to go buy a book. (Unless, you want to – he has quite a few books published.)
Just go to 5LoveLanguages.com to discover what your language is!
Just in case you’re wondering…. My main languages are Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts. So, I feel the most loved from my husband/friends/family when they hold my hand or hug me, and when they give me little meaningful gifts (like a note, or a cup of coffee, or flowers).
And, as a bonus – I’ll also include the link to their Apology Languages test. Some of us may need this if the ‘love month’ didn’t meet our significant others’ expectations. — The Apology Languages
What’s your love language?
What’s your apology language?
Share with us!
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Have you read this book? I found it tremendously helpful in all my relationships – including parents, siblings, and friends!
3 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
8 Receiving Gifts
2 Acts of Service
9 Physical Touch
<3
You’ve got the massage touch FOR SURE ;)
Ah hahaha!
oh man I love tests like these! my top one by like a lot is physical touch and then tied for second is word of affirmation and quality time!
no surprise! lol…
My main one is physical touch! Haha no surprise there. Words of afirmation is a close second. Then quailty time, gifts and acts of service :) so fun!
Just did the apology one. boy oh boy… Gabriel Martinez… Mine was a 3-way tie- so, when you mess up— you need to genuinely repent, accept responsibility, AND make restitution… does that make me high-maintenance?
mine and my husband’s languages are the exact opposite too! Means it takes more effort so this is a good reminder!
You are so right about that. It seems our LL changes in difft seasons of life- and also typically when we may not be receiving one in abundance. ACTS OF SERVICE never meant anything to me at all until having kids, and needing those acts of service more than ever!
Mine and Gabe’s are the exact OPPOSITE… proof that opposites attract!
Woop woop! ;)
Oh man… I have changed! Receiving gifts is now my #1 love language. How did that happen? (I think Christine LeBlanc Sellers and my generous cell group are responsible for changing me). Don’t worry though… TOUCH and QUALITY TIME are tied for a very close 2nd place.
Thanks Hana…means so much!!
You are amazing, Jenna! <3 You have such a great attitude, even when you’re not in the ‘ideal’ situation. Aaron is very blessed to have you as a wife!
Quality Time, and Physical Touch were tied and then Words of Affirmation. Go see a movie with me, give me a High Five and tell me I’m awesome!
It’s so AMAZING to me how God uses “seasons” in our lives to help us grow. Almost 3 years ago My Love Language was a tie between Acts of Service and Receiving gifts. Aaron’s was physical Touch followed closely by Quality time. After 2 years of deployments I learned to do most “acts of service” on my own and learned that gifts didn’t really matter anymore. I took this quiz this morning and my Love Language is now Physical Touch which blew everything else out of the water, but second was quality time. I guess when times are a bit harder we learn what’s really important! It seems what I want and need most right now is my Husband/Best friend!
“Touch me, tell me I’m awesome… and don’t buy me gifts.” -Chris Galarza.
Me and my brother are in agreement on this.
“Hearing the words, ‘I love you,’ are important–hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward…” – So true for me! My love language is words of affirmation. What is yours?
“Hearing the words, ‘I love you,’ are important–hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward…” – My love language I words of affirmation. What is yours?
What’s YOUR love language? <3
True story! I spent the first 20 years of my life apologizing for my ‘acts of love’…. Do yourself a favor and take this test! Thanks Hana Boyce!